Speed Dating – The good and the bad

I have friends who love speed dating, the drinks prehaps? ; they can’t get enough of it. Then I have other friends who want nothing to do with it.

Since the concept seems to be divided I dug into the issue a bit to see about the pros and cons of speed dating. Tell me hat do you think?

Pros of Speed Dating

* Efficiency -  You meet several new people in just one night instead of over the course of weeks or months.
* Speed dating events are usually held in bars. A few drinks help take the edge off.
* You can go with your friends, which makes for a fun night out regardless of the people you meet.
* No one has to know you went unless you tell them.

Cons of Speed Dating

* It feels forced.
* Everyone around you can hear your conversations.
* Other than age and gender, the people on the other side of the table haven’t been matched to you at all.
* If you go with friends, you and your friend might end up liking the same person.

The sad but ‘simple’ truth

So ladies, I came across this video on Youtube, and although a joke, lets face it, with most men it’s the cold, dark, bitter truth. Now clearly once ‘they’ get to know us they fall in love with us and the looks become slighty less important, however when its all about getting a ‘bite’.. you know getting that first date, then i’m afraid to say us ladies have to look good.

I passed this video on to a couple girlfriends of mine and one of them went the very same day to go and join her local fitness club. Now many of you may say how sad that might be, but the way I look at is that if it got her to get her bum down the gym well then it’s a good thing, at the end of the day we don’t only want to look good for them…we have to look in the mirror each day at only one person…guess who that is?

Getting dressed for a 1st date

It’s your 1st date and you want to make just the right impression…right?  Generally, for a lot of guys, they get pressured about where to take their date, how to behave, what to say, etc. Most often men rarely sweat over what to wear. That is a woman’s prerogative. Most women are generally less concerned about the actual date, they are aware that the pressure is on the men and all that is left to them is to go with the flow. But how to dress to impress is the chief pre-occupation of a woman.

1. Appeal

You are the best judge of what makes you look good. Or your friends must have told you what you look best in. It could be a certain shade that matches your baby blues and brings out the colour in them. Or a fitted tee that makes the most of your sculpted abs and well-developed physique. Or a skirt that shows off your legs to advantage, especially if you’ve been told you have a great pair. Flatter your appearance and make yourself easy on the eye.

2. Do your clothes fit well?

Whatever you wear, do ensure that your clothes give you a good fit. If you’ve lost weight recently, don’t wear clothes that you used to when you were a couple of sizes larger. Clothes that are overly baggy or hang on you will do nothing for your look. And if you’ve gained weight, please don’t try squeezing into those denims that fit when you were at least 10 pounds lighter. You don’t want to ruin your first date with the dreaded sound of your clothes ripping at the seam, do you? Clothes that fit well should perform a double function. They must guarantee comfort while making you look good. It is never a good idea to squirm in discomfort because your top is so tight that you fear that if you laugh a little hard you might pop a couple of buttons. Or if you eat that tempting desert, you will have to release a couple of notches on your belt!

3. Match the clothes to the occasion/venue.

Double-check if it is a formal restaurant or a casual lounge atmosphere and dress accordingly. You wouldn’t want to stick out  in formal attire if it is a more informal and relaxed setting. If your date is going to extend for a major part of the evening and you will be going to more than one place, don’t panic.

You could carry a jacket for the formal look and wear a smart white shirt underneath. Knock off the jacket when you’re done with the formal part of the evening, to blend in with the more casual look of the party you may be going to later. Or for the ladies, a smart jacket or fancy stole over a bustier or a chic top is sufficient to add the formal element, which can be taken off later when you’re ready to let your hair down.

Especially for woman…

1. Try it on beforehand.

You don’t want to be standing in front of the mirror with your wardrobe hanging open and five outfits laid out, trying to figure out which to wear. It pays to be prepared in advance and try out whatever it is you plan to wear. You might have last worn it sometime back, and your measurements might have changed since. Or you forgot that the last time you wore that outfit you’d snagged a thread and now it’s too late to do anything about it.

2. One outfit you can fall back on in an emergency.

It is good to have one outfit that you know suits you and which you can always fall back on in a desperate situation. In the event that you haven’t had time to decide in advance, you can shimmy into it at the last minute and it will still do wonders. Make sure this outfit is one of those timeless pieces that won’t be governed by the dictates of fashion and doesn’t cling too much, so that even if you do put on a couple of pounds it will still fit.

3. Be yourself, wear something that’s you

What you wear should enhance your look, not detract from it. And irrespective of what the current trend is, if it doesn’t do anything for you, don’t wear it. If hipsters are the current rage but all they succeed in doing is drawing attention to your already ample ones, stay away from them. Instead, wear an a-line dress or a top that drapes over your hips without clinging to them. If you’re in the mood for something funky and you can carry it off, go ahead.

Do’s and dont’s on a 1st date

So, I only give these as a result of lots of experience, they might give you a helping hand or prevent ypou from making a complete ass of yourself. Take’em or leave ‘em, but don’t say I didn’t warn you;)

The don’ts

• Don’t start drinking when you’re getting ready, you’ll arrive drunk, which might not be so good
• Don’t wear clothes that aren’t appropriate for the chosen venue, you know what i mean.
• Don’t dress like a totally different person from the way you would normally, true colours will shine eventually.
• Don’t take over the top presents with you – flowers or a small gift the day after the date would be better.
• Don’t reveal intimate secrets or draw attention to defects, real or imagined.
• Don’t wear too much jewellery – it just looks tacky.

Definite date dos

• Do have clean hands and nails, we all notice hands and grubby is a turn off.
• Do have a snack before you go out to curb the hunger pangs, settle butterflies in your tummy and stop your first drink going straight to your head.
• Do choose just one area of your body you are happy to reveal.
• Do make time to wash your hair, it always shows if you haven’t bothered.
• Do remember less is more in every respect on a date, be it bronzer, aftershave or jewellery.
• Do wear clothes that fit properly; spilling out of clothes that are too small looks plain awful.

First date safety tips

Meeting peopel for the first time in person if you have met online is obviouslt very exciting but it’s important to remember that you essentially are meeting a stranger and in the intrest of your won safety you should take some precautionary measures. Here are few you might find useful:

• Arrange to meet for coffee or lunch rather than dinner. Not only are you safer in the day but you don’t waste time if it doesn’t work. Help prevent any unwanted chasing (which might turn into stalking) by being polite but not leading them on. If you don’t fancy them, just say ‘”You’re a lovely person, but unfortunately, not what I was looking for.”

• Stick to an area that’s well lit with lots of people around. It’s a good idea to meet in a place where you’re known so the person you’re with can be identified. Chat away to the waiter/waitress so it’s obvious you’ve been seen with them.

• Don’t invite strangers to your home and don’t go to theirs until you know them very well.

• Trust your gut instinct and listen carefully to their relationship history. Are they using the service for the right reasons or are they just after sex?

• Give the details of your date to several friends - where you’ll be, the time you’ll meet, the person’s name, phone number and address. Get them to phone you an hour into the date to check you’re OK; you phone them a few hours later to report in again.

What NOT to do when online dating

What a shame, this poor woman obviously very lonely and vulnerable  taken for a dummy and robbed out of loads of money. I mean she is pretty silly to send money to Nigeria of all places but he there you go, just shows what people will go to have someone to love.

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!